In Process: Self-Love
Originally posted on ILY Mag on May 19, 2016
With each year, I realize self-love is a journey. It’s an adventure that will always be in progress. I can’t help but reflect this month, my birthday month. I think of how far I’ve come and how far I need to go. Every so often, I get to a place where I feel good about myself but then something happens–Whether it be relationship woes or career struggles, something pops up and throws me off. I then ask myself whether I truly love myself, or if I even love myself at all, because I’ve ended up in a state of despondency.
I cry until I can’t cry no more then give myself a break–I rest. I detach in hopes of gaining a higher perspective. Meditation, prayer, focusing on breathing, turning to silence–anything to eliminate distraction from the outer world. Silence is underrated for many, but to me it’s the key. Stillness is what allows me to listen to myself. My intuition, my divination. Without allowing myself this nourishment or space, personal growth wouldn’t exist. I deserve another chance at loving someone and for that love to be reciprocated, another chance at being the career woman I dream of being, and another chance at living life to the fullest.
Healing has been getting easier with time. With each lesson learned, I get wiser and smarter. I’m approaching my prime years in loving myself, but is this it? What is next for me? What is my next challenge? I’ve become accustomed to curve balls that toss me into the unknown. The unknown has now become an area I’m familiar with. A place I once labeled as frightening, now grants me freedom–the ability to control my own happiness.